Treat Her Right
by Foxtrotter44
Summary: Before Elissa and Alistair's wedding, Fergus has a "chat" with his future brother-in-law. Hilarity ensues. One-shot.


In the Cousland origin, there's a conversation path with Fergus that occurs if you're going to sleep with Dairren (which, for the record, my Elissa had no interest in doing), Fergus will say something along the lines of "If this guy isn't good enough for your time, I'm going to have a talk with him." While that conversation path doesn't occur in my Elissa's storyline, it made me wonder how Fergus was going to treat Alistair during before the wedding, and this happened. I love the idea of Fergus being the overprotective older brother and messing with Alistair, which I briefly mention in my story that ties into this one, "Becoming Queen."

I originally wrote this as part of my drabble series using the prompt "Treat Her Right," but it's over 500 words and too long to really be a drabble, so instead I'm posting it as a vignette on its own. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Bioware owns Dragon Age.

* * *

"So."

"...So."

"You're marrying my sister."

Alistair desperately tried not to break out into a sweat under the intensely scrutinizing stare of Fergus Cousland. It had been two months since the coronation, and everything had been going well for Alistair, considering the recent civil war, the blight completely ravaging the country, and the fact that he had no clue how to be a King. Repairs to Denerim were moving along quickly, the country hailed him as a hero, and his wedding to the love of his life was in four months. Yes, Alistair had felt quite good about everything right up until the point where he found himself seated across from his soon-to-be brother-in-law, who was looking at Alistair as if he were a cow being sized up for slaughter. "That's the plan," Alistair responded, keeping his tone light.

Fergus had left for Highever shortly after the coronation, giving him and Alistair only a brief moment to meet. When Elissa had informed Alistair that her brother would be visiting Denerim soon and they would be dining together, Alistair hadn't realized that she wouldn't be joining them. When he had mentioned to Bann Teagan that his fiancée's older brother had wanted to dine alone with him, Teagan had chuckled knowingly and clasped Alistair on the shoulder as he said, "Prepare to be completely emasculated."

Sitting stuck to his chair now and filled with an impending sense of dread, Alistair understood exactly what Teagan had meant. Alistair swore Fergus's glare could penetrate straight through Alistair's skull and right to his center where Fergus could see every sordid thought or lurid fantasy Alistair had ever had about Elissa.

"I'm sure you're aware there's a certain protocol to be followed for betrothals, Your Majesty?"

"Just Alistair. Please."

If anything, Fergus's glare became even _more _pronounced. Maker, could Alistair do _anything _right? "As you wish. Alistair. As I was saying," he continued, "There's a way to go about these things. When a man wants to marry a woman, it is his duty to gain permission from her father to do so, or next closest relative in his absence."

"Well, he wasn't exactly around, and we thought you were dead, and Elissa's the one who said she was going to marry _me_, and she didn't even ask me if I wanted to, and-"

Fergus held up a hand, the authoritative gesture indicating for Alistair to stop rambling, which was probably for the best. "I know. I've heard the story of how she declared herself your future Queen at the Landsmeet." Fergus smirked. "She was always so impulsive."

"Um. Right." Alistair looked down at his plate waiting for Fergus to continue speaking, but the silence stretched on. "So... Was there anything in particular you wanted to talk about, or..."

Fergus raised one eyebrow and his smirk grew more pronounced. "I'd like to get to know you, Alistair. We are about to be brothers-in-law, after all."

* * *

The door to the study slammed open. Teagan looked up from his book to watch Alistair sulk into the room and slump down in a chair behind the desk, his forehead resting against his arms. Teagan raised an eyebrow. "So? How did it go?"

Alistair groaned. "He hates me."

"He's your future wife's older brother. It's his job to hate you."

Alistair lifted his head to squint at Teagan. "You were right about the emasculation, by the way. I've never felt like less of a man."

"All part of getting married."

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. "It's open," Alistair called out. The doorknob turned and in walked Elissa. Alistair started to speak. "Your brother-"

"-Thinks we'll make a good pair," Elissa finished.

"...What? Not a chance."

"I just spoke with him. He thinks you're a good man."

"...Oh. I thought he hated me."

"Oh, he does," Elissa smiled. "He _also_ thinks you're a good man."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Sure it does," Bann Teagan added. "As I said before, hating you is his job."


End file.
